


Vulnerability

by PurpleBraces



Series: Two Idiots Trying Their Best [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: 5+1 Things, Anxiety, Emotional Constipation, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Self-Esteem Issues, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-07-08 10:29:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15928559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleBraces/pseuds/PurpleBraces
Summary: Ending up in this strange world is both a curse and a blessing. Now all Raph has to do is keep his gay thoughts to himself until they go home. Of course, nothing ever works out the way he wants to. However, maybe this time it's a good thing.AKA, 'Five times Raph felt vulnerable and hated it, and one time he stopped being a lil bitch and it led to great things.





	1. Meeting

There was a big issue, currently.

It didn't start out as in issue; in fact, it was a form of protection that Raphael relied on for most of his life.

Raph hated being vulnerable, both physically and mentally. He couldn't handle the soft touches coming from his father, the hugs from his siblings, or even the friendly arm around his shoulders from his friends. It aggravated that crack in his armor behind which everything he hated behind himself hid, screaming that the last thing he deserved was this love and affection. They all knew it too, and for the most part, they left him alone.

For the longest time, there was no issue. Sure, Raphael had countless sleepless nights worrying himself sick and disassociating while staring at his ceiling, but it was fine, he was fine! Besides, they had more important things to worry about, like the Shredder and the Kraang and the looming threat of world domination. No one wanted to spend the time to break through his shell, so he never had to acknowledge the constant pain swimming under the surface.

Until there was someone there, ready to bulldoze down his walls without giving him so much a warning.

Meeting Sidon was both the best and worst moment of Raph's life. They had been on a mission with Renet, and all they wanted was to go home. Instead, they ended up in a brand new world, and because life hated them, they were stuck there. Raph had been seconds away from trying to fight her, but luckily enough they had landed only a few paces away from some burglars who had been sneaking off with their loot. They had been so busy staring at the new group of strangers they didn't think to keep it moving before they got their asses kicked.

Long story short, they should have kept it moving.

"Well, I feel a bit better," Raph smirked, dusting his hands off. He really didn't, he felt like he was seconds away from an anxiety attack, but he had an image to uphold. Besides, this wasn't the time to freak out anyway.

"We don't know this world; how do we return the stuff they stole?" Donnie pointed out, poking one of the knocked out perps with his staff.

"We could take it with us, maybe we'll run into them while we're here?" Mikey suggested.

"Maybe, but we don't want to be mistaken for the thieves. That's a problem we just don't need right now." Leo said.

"On top of that, where are we going to sleep?" Leo added, and silence befell them as they tried to figure out what the fuck they were going to do.

"Hello, down there! Yes, you there!" Looking around wildly, Raph tilted his head back until his gaze landed on a red blip standing on a high up perch. The red blip jumped down, and Raph realized it was a very tall, very strong looking...shark boy? Fish man?

"I apologize for the abrupt introduction, but I was following those bandits as they stole from my people. Luckily, they ran into you!" He let out a delighted chuckle, revealing roles of very sharp and very intimidating teeth.

"Uh...no problem. Glad we could help. Who are you?" Leo asked, taking a small step in front of the group, just in case. Always had to play the protector.

"Oh, right! My name is Sidon, prince of the Zora Domain. That's where we are now, in case you were wondering." He explained. "I saw you appear out of nothing, so I assume you don't know much about this world?"

"You'd be right. We have no idea where we are." Donnie admitted.

"Yeah, someone teleported us here on accident," Raph said pointedly, and Renet has the decency to look sheepish.

Mikey threw an arm over his brother's shoulders, trying to ignore the way he tensed up. "Come on, Raph! It could be worse! We could be getting eaten or mauled or imprisoned! We got a pretty sweet deal this time!"

"Ahem. Not to interrupt, but I would like to know your names as well." Sidon pointed out.

"Right, right. Well, I'm Leonardo, and these three are my brothers and our friend Renet." He introduced, gesturing to each of his siblings as he said their name. "Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raphael." He held out his hand to shake, and Sidon was all too eager to do so.

Seeing that it was safe, Donnie and Mikey easily opened up to a handshake. Raph on the other hand, stayed back, his eyes full of skepticism and wariness. However, the anxiety of them all just staring at him in silence propelled him to approach and offer a hand.

What he was not prepared for was instead of a handshake, a gossamer kiss was pressed against the back of his hand.

Um.

What.

Sidon didn't do that to the other three, and Raph could feel their stares crawling on his back. That's exactly what he didn't want, and the red flush beginning to stain his cheeks was not welcome in the slightest.

Sidon didn't address it anymore, a smug smirk on his face as he gathered the bag of stolen goods.

"Follow me, my friends. I'll show you where you'll be staying." He walked off, leaving Raph to stare after him in shock.

Mikey broke the silence, saying, "Well, we better not keep Raph's prince charming waiting!" Even though Sidon was out of earshot, Raph still shushed him viciously and swatted at him.

"Mikey, shut up!" He growled, hunching his shoulders.

"Well Raph, you didn't seem too upset about that kiss." Donnie pointed out, trying not to laugh.

"I was surprised! I wasn't thinking about being angry at the time!" He tried to defend himself.

"Are you angry now?" Leo asked, and Raph's silence spoke incredible volumes.

"Of course, as soon as we get here, Raph managed to catch the eye of a prince. I'm not even surprised." Mikey kept teasing as they finally followed after Sidon, trying to dodge Raph's swats the entire way.


	2. Pining Artist

That wasn't the last incident, however. Raph's brothers seemed to have made it their mission to either get Sidon alone with him or to tease him about his crush. Yeah, that's right, Raph had managed to develop a fucking crush on the fucking adorable fish prince with a heart of goddamn gold. Who also happened to reside in a completely different dimension than the one he was from.

Nothing could ever be easy for one goddamn second.

The one thing it could be, however, was avoided. The boys had settled down fairly quickly on the outskirts of society. Renee stayed in a hut nearby, and the boys had one to themselves. They were still adjusting to the culture, but they knew more about the dimension they found themselves in. They had requested to be a bit separated for now, since they didn't know how their presence would be received. However, their distance didn't stop Sidon from stopping by to visit every day without fail. Sometimes it was early in the morning, sometimes it was late at night, but he always made time to see how his visitors were doing, especially one specific turtle.

He couldn't explain why he had grown such a quick and intense infatuation with Raphael; maybe it was his fiery temper that hid a fiercely loyal and soft heart, maybe it was his soft secret smiles that were aimed at his brothers and that Sidon longed to see aimed at him, honestly there was a laundry list of reasons why Sidon had fallen. But the bottom line was that he had fallen both very hard and very fast.

Raph was sitting outside, holding a stack of loose-leaf papers close to his face with one hand and drawing with the other. He was so caught up in his work that he didn’t even notice Sidon walk up until he was literally standing right over him.

“What are you working on?” Raph shrieked, flailing for a hot second and jumping to his feet. He had to stop himself from swinging instinctively, putting a hand over his heart to try and calm it.

“What made you think it would be a good idea to sneak up on a damn ninja?!” He demanded, but he couldn’t truly be mad, especially when Sidon had the decency to look sheepish.

“I-I’m sorry, Raphael. I thought you would have seen or heard me coming, I mean, I’m not exactly small in stature.” He pointed out, and damn it he was right.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, just…don't do it again.” There was no heat in his words, and finally, he was able to calm his heart enough to breathe normally and not feel like he had just run across every rooftop on New York.

“Well, could I see what you’re working on?” Never mind, his heart went back into overdrive. “Uh, well…it’s nothing important, just some scribbles.” He muttered.

“I would love to see your scribbles then.” Sidon chuckled and welp, Raph might have a heart attack here and now.

No. Hell no. Absolutely fucking not…

…Is what Raph wanted to say. Instead, the words caught in his throat and he found himself handing over the papers without a single murmur of discouragement. He was so weak for this shark prince, it was honestly pathetic considering the short amount of time he had known him.

Sidon accepted the papers eagerly, his smile widening as he looked them over. “Raphael, I never knew you were such a good artist!” He commented, and Raph couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as pride swelled in his chest. Until Sidon just HAD TO ASK, “Is this me?”

All that pride flew out of the goddamn window, replaced by ice-cold terror. He had completely forgotten about the entire page filled front and back with pictures of Sidon that Raph had never intended to actually show him.

Well, so much for that!

“These are…very well done. I am honored to be your subject, Raphael.” Sidon murmured, and wow, when had he gotten closer?!

“It’s nothing man, I was just drawing whatever was on my mind.” He tried to explain.

“Oh? I was on your mind long enough for you to fill an entire page with my likeness?”

Raph bit his lip, deciding not to respond to that. He had already made a complete and utter fool of himself, and the last thing he wanted to do was manage to dig himself even deeper into the hole. Instead, he held out his hand in a silent request for his sketches back. Sidon handed them over, a knowing smile on his face.

“Thanks. I should go see what my brothers are doing.” Raph said stiffly, wanting to end this conversation and maybe go bury himself in the dirt until this entire incident was erased from his memory.

“Maybe you would let me watch you draw, during a moment of free time?” Sidon asked, eagerness evident in his eyes.

Raph smiled a little, using what little confidence he had left to try and sound somewhat smooth. “You sure that’s not an excuse just to come and see me?” He was completely joking, but what he didn’t expect was the dark flush crossing Sidon’s face. Oh. That was new, but not unwelcomed. It made something very similar to hope flare-up in Raph’s chest. Maybe he wasn’t making a huge fool of himself as he thought.

Before Sidon could reply, Raph chuckled and said, “I’m just teasing. I really should go, Leo’s probably ready to throw a fit since I’m late to training. You’ll stop by again soon though, won’t you?” He asked with a small grin on his lips.

“O-Of course! I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” Sidon seemed to collect himself, smiling back before heading back to the main part of the domain.

Raph waited until he was out of sight to let out a wheeze and hide his face in his hands. He wasn’t used to feeling this…open? Hopeful? Like his heart was about to beat out of his chest? Either way, he didn’t want it to stop, but he didn’t want to make a fool of himself either.

Now how he was going to accomplish that when Sidon was constantly in his head or in his space, was a complete mystery.


	3. The Stars Cannot Compare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad you guys are leaving kudos, but like. Can y'all comment? I want to have a conversation, not just assume that everyone who left a kudos likes everything about my story. A kudos on here is like a like on tumblr; awesome, I appreciate it, but it doesn't tell me anything. I want to know what y'all think, because if I don't know what y'all like or want to see, then how am I supposed to continue?

It was another week before Sidon could come around again. He got busy, and the brothers convinced him that he didn’t have to drop by every day, especially when he looked ready to drop when he arrived. That didn’t mean he wasn’t missed, but the brothers didn’t want to overstep boundaries by venturing further into the domain to look for him. Some of the Zora had already made it clear that they weren’t welcome. Muzu was the main one, and the last thing they wanted to do was cause conflict, so they kept to themselves on the outskirts.

Didn’t mean it wasn’t lonely.

“Still pining for your prince?” Raph jumped, turning his head to glare at his brother from where he was sitting by the window. Leo was smirking at him, and Raph had to resist the urge to slap the green off of him.

“I’m not pining, and he’s not my prince.” He grumbled, turning away again in hopes that Leo would take the hint and fuck off.

Haha, yeah right.

“Come on, Raph. We’re not stupid, we can see how you look at him and how he looks at you.” Leo pointed out, sitting next to him. Whether he was ignoring the hint or honestly didn’t catch it was unknown, but Raph felt it was the former.

“I look at him like I look at everyone else. Nothing different about it.” He replied stubbornly.

“If you look at us like that, I feel like I should be concerned.” Leo yelped as Raph shoved him off the stoop before laughing at his red face.

“Gross, Leo!” He exclaimed, causing Leo to smirk. Gotcha.

“Why’s it gross if you ‘look at him like you look at everyone else’? It shouldn’t be a problem then.” Leo had to hold in a snort at the look on Raph’s face, holding up his hands as a sign of peace.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I’ll stop trying to antagonize you.” He choked on a snicker once more.

Raph’s glare softened and he helped Leo up before allowing Leo to sit next to him without throwing a fit.

“…Even if I did feel…something, we’re not staying here forever. It wouldn’t make sense for anything to happen.”

Leo sighed. “Raph, we’re teenage mutant ninja turtles. Nothing in our lives makes sense. If I were you, I would want to at least try to be happy while I’m here.”

Raph just shrugged, and Leo knew the conversation was over. There was more Raph wasn't telling him, but pushing would only lead to a fight and no answers. He sighed and leaned back in his seat, watching the sunrise with his little brother.

“How long have we been sitting here?” Raph asked, about an hour later.

“Not sure.” Leo asked.

“Aren’t you bored, just sitting here with me?”

He shrugged. “Not really. It’s nice, hanging out like this without having to worry about the next call from Casey or April telling us Shredder is planning yet another scheme.”

Silence for a second, then, “Do you think they’re okay without us there?”

“…I think so. Master Splinter is there, and April can keep Casey in line.” Raph snorted at that, knowing It was true.

Footsteps approaching caught their attention. Donnie and Mikey had been helping out Renet, trying to figure out how to get them home. Raph felt a small surge of panic in his chest; had they found something? He didn’t…he wasn’t ready to go, yet. The reason why was something he wasn’t ready to confess to himself 90 percent of the time.

“Find something out?” Leo asked, crossing his arms. Exhaustion was written in the slump of Donnie’s shoulders and the firm set of his mouth.

“Nothing.” Donnie paused to yawn. “We’ve been working all night.”

“I tried to get Donnie to rest but he doesn’t listen to me.” Mikey sighed, shaking his head with a disapproving tsk.

Donnie smiled a little, wrapping an arm around Mikey’s shoulders and giving him a one-armed hug. “Mikey’s right, for once.” He teased. “I need some sleep, and I’ll work on it later.” He stumbled sleepily back to his room, and soft snores could be heard soon after.

Raph let out a small sigh of relief, and unfortunately, it didn’t go unnoticed.

“Looks like Raph’s glad he won’t have to leave his prince.” Mikey teased, watching with delight as a red blush crept across his brothers’ skin.

“Oh, definitely. Didn’t want to leave before he even had a chance to confess.” Leo joined in the teasing, laughing at the betrayed look Raph shot him.

“He’s not my prince, and there’s nothing for me to confess, you dorks.” Raph scoffed, getting up and heading downstairs. That’s when Mikey decided it was a good time to release the last bit of information he had in his repertoire.

“By the way, Sidon’s stopping by later to show us around!” He cracked up at the sound of Raph nearly falling down the stairs, tears forming in his eyes as he heard the muffled curses.

“When did he tell you this?” Leo asked, his shoulders shaking with mirth.

“He stopped by a few hours ago when Renet and Donnie were working. I figured he hadn’t told Raph since he wasn’t freaking out about it. I also didn’t want to give him time to try and back out.”

Sometimes Leo forgot how smart his little brother was.

“However, I may have forgotten to mention that I may have told Sidon that we’d be busy, but Raph would be free.”

Leo gaped like a fish. “…Raph is going to kill you.” He finally muttered.

“Nah, he’ll thank me for giving him some alone time with his prince. Donnie’s in on it and promised to hide me if Raph comes looking.”

“Good luck with that, Mikey.” Leo chuckled, shaking his head. He just hoped that Raph would let himself enjoy this instead of shutting down whenever someone brushed his discomfort zone.

When the time came, the brothers headed out, exchanging knowing looks behind Raph’s back. Right before they got into view of the clearing where they planned to meet, Mikey snapped his fingers as if he had just remembered something.

“I forgot, I promised Renet that I would hang out with her tonight, give her a break from working!” He headed off before Raph could say anything.

“I should go too, make sure that they don’t break anything.” Donnie said, giving a small wave as he walked away.

“What is going—” Leo interrupted, not wanting to give Raph a chance to figure it out before they could get away.

“I should catch up with training. You stay here and hang out with Sidon, don’t want to disappoint him.” He winked, and then he was gone.

Raph was silent, mouth hanging open as he connected the dots in his head. No. No, the entire fuck they did not set this up. Yes, of course, they did, because his brothers were assholes just like him. He didn’t know whether to be proud or furious.

“Raphael, there you are!” Raph wanted to scream, instead, he decided to turn to face the object of his affection, who was smiling at him as he approached.

“I’ve been waiting for you. I was so glad you could come, as Michelangelo told me that he and your other brothers would be busy.”

Fuck all of what Master Splinter said about family, Raph was going to commit a triple fratricide as soon as he got home.

Wait.

Home? When had he begun to consider that hut home? It was nice, homely even, but a home? They’d only been here for two months, that was no time for anything to become a home. Maybe…maybe it wasn’t the place, but a person here who had given him a taste of home.

“…Heh, yeah. Glad I could come.” He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “What’s the plan?”

Sidon noticed his awkwardness but didn’t comment on it, not wanting to make it worse. “Well your brothers were telling me how, where you come from, the stars aren’t visible. So, I thought it would be a good idea to, maybe, show you the stars here, without obstruction. If you would like, that is.”

Raph swallowed, mulling it over in his mind. He could work with this. He had seen the stars here, and they were stunning, but he couldn’t help but wonder what they would be like through the eyes of someone who had lived here their whole life.

“Okay, let’s go.” The happy smile that spread across Sidon’s face should have been illegal, but damn Raph could look at that smile until his last day. In a friendly way, of course. Completely and utterly platonic, no other motive.

“Wonderful! The sun won’t be setting for another hour or so, so we could…go for a walk if you’d like. I’d love to learn more about you.”

Okay, Raph. Deep breaths. You can handle this, no problem! You’re just going for a walk with the most handsome guy you’ve ever seen in your life, who also has a heart of gold and a smile to light up the sky. They began to walk, an uncomfortable silence falling between them.

“I would like to know more about where you’re from. New York, if I recall? Where did you stay?” Sidon asked, giving a friendly smile.

“Underground.” The stiff answer made that smile die; he didn’t know how to make Raph comfortable. Had he come on too strong in their previous meetings?

“…If you are uncomfortable, we could end this outing. I don’t want you to feel as if you must spend time with me.” Raph hated how his heart clenched at the sadness coloring Sidon’s tone. That’s the last thing he wanted, was for Sidon to be unhappy. Him being the cause of it made him feel sick.

“No, no it’s not that. I’m just…I have a lot on my mind, but you didn’t do anything wrong.” Raph reassured, relieved to see Sidon smile at him once more.

“Well, I would be glad to lend a friendly ear if you need to talk.” Raph’s first instinct was to decline, but once again, he was weak and didn’t want to make Sidon sad once again.

“…Well, I’m worried about home. My brothers and I protect New York, and our friends are capable, but...I don’t want anything to happen to them. They shouldn’t have to protect the city, that’s our job. They would be missed if something happened to them.” Raph had said too much. Sidon had stopped walking and was staring at him with concern.

“Raphael, I don’t understand. Wouldn’t the people of New York miss you?” Ah, Sidon didn’t know their circumstances.

“No, they don’t know we exist. Like I said, we live underground. Nine times out of ten, if we show ourselves we’ll sooner be shot at before we’re thanked.” He said, slight bitterness in his tone.

“But…you’re their protectors! Doesn’t that mean anything?” Raph smiled a bit at Sidon’s naivete.

“Not to them. We’re different, we’re freaks. To them, we’re nothing but monsters.” Raph hated how small his voice got on that last word. He acted like he didn’t care, but it cut him deeply that no matter what he and his brothers did, they would never be seen as anything more than monsters, even when they didn’t ask for this. They didn’t ask for the mutagen to be spilled on them, they didn’t ask to be raised in the sewers, the didn’t ask to be adopted by a human turned mutant rat.

It wasn’t fair.

“I’m sorry. That must be extremely hard.” Sidon murmured. “But at the same time, that only makes me admire you more.”

“Huh?” Raph asked, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“You have been surrounded by a population that either knows nothing about you or would rather kill you than thank you. Yet, you still risk your lives to go out and protect them, expecting nothing in return. If that’s not admirable, then I don’t know what is. I only wish I could make everyone else see it.”

Raph stared at him for the longest time, making Sidon a bit nervous. Had he said too much? Been too intense? Was he ever not going to make a fool of himself in front of the one person he wanted to impress?

His worries were put to rest when Raph laughed, shaking his head. “Don’t worry, man. I…I wish more people had your mindset. It would be nice not to be screamed at every time we save someone.” He shrugged. Oh well.

From there, the conversation flowed without a hitch. Raph forced himself to stop focusing on the complicated feelings he had and just enjoy his time with Sidon, and if he had a thought that was a little more than platonic, well, he tried not to freak out about it. It helped that he was almost sure that Sidon was in the same boat as him.

Finally, when the sun had set and it was dark, the stars emerged. Even though Raph had seen them by now, he could never get used to them. They still took his breath away, though it was sort of hard to see with the trees in the way. He could see Sidon staring at him out of the corner of his eyes, and after a good five minutes he spoke up.

“Something on my face?” He asked, delighting in the blush that spread across the prince’s cheeks.

“N-No, I was just…thinking. The trees are high here, so I was wondering if you were having trouble seeing the stars. I might have a solution.”

Raph raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And what would that solution be?” He asked. Raph would forever deny the yelp that left him as Sidon lifted him up and settled Raph on his shoulder. He had to hold onto Sidon’s crest for balance so he didn’t fall flat on his face.

“Whoa! Give a guy some warning, will you?!” He snapped, feeling his face burn.

“I apologize, Raphael. Next time, I will make sure to warn you.” The thought of a next time was not helping Raph calm down, but he couldn’t be upset. Sidon was just trying to help.

“Well…I can see the stars better now.” He murmured, resting his head on his arms, which were propped on Sidon’s crest. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this view.”

“Neither will I.” Sidon replied softly, but he wasn’t looking at the stars. Raph was smiling, that same private smile that only came out on rare occasions. Sidon had longed to make that smile appear, and finally, he had done it. Pair that with the soft light from the moon reflecting in Raph’s eyes and on his skin, and Sidon felt like his heart just might beat out of his chest.

Raph happened to glance down, catching Sidon’s gaze. He blushed darkly, not used to being looked at lovingly like this. He swallowed his anxiety for a moment, smiling a little as he tried to unglue his tongue from the roof of his mouth.

“Hi.” He murmured breathlessly, wanting to smack himself right after. Luckily, Sidon found it cute instead of stupid.

“Hello there.” He sounded just as breathless. “You…you are…” Sidon couldn’t come up with words to describe how he was feeling, what he was saying. Part of it was fear, and part of it was being caught up in all of Raph’s beauty. It was highly probable that Raph and beauty weren’t often used in the same sentence, but Sidon honestly couldn’t imagine why. Raphael was abrasive, full of anger, and was a minefield of insecurity. And Sidon was absolutely enamored with him.

“I am?” Raph asked, tilting his head. His electric green eyes drew Sidon in, stealing his words and his heart simultaneously.

“I can’t seem to find the words.” He breathed, and Raph let out an amused exhale.

“That’s fine. Sometimes I can’t either.” Although the confession sent heat flooding through his face, Sidon’s enamored grin was worth it tenfold.

Time flew past, the time filled with both conversation and comfortable silence. Finally, Sidon sighed and helped Raph down, saying, “I should go. There are some important things I need to take care of tomorrow, and it wouldn’t do to be tired.” Hesitantly, he allowed himself to keep holding Raph’s hand after helping him down, and he was rewarded with a small squeeze as Raph held on. He swallowed thickly, trying to calm his racing heart. Contrary to his calm exterior, he was just as nervous as Raph, but it was so, so worth it if he could continue to get closer to the red-banded turtle.

“May I walk you home?” He asked hopefully.

“Yeah, if you want. Don’t want to keep you up any longer than needed, Muzu already hates me enough.” He chuckled, but Sidon looked livid.

“Please, don’t worry about him. He will forever be stuck in his own ways. I will gladly sacrifice my sleep if it means spending more time with you.”

Raph choked on his own spit, Sidon having to bite his lip to hide a smirk. He couldn’t help it; Raphael was so cute when he was flustered, which was almost all time when he was around. They walked in a comfortable silence, still holding hands. When the hut finally came into view, Raph turned to Sidon with parting words.

“Alright, you really should head back now. I don’t want to hear about you passing out in the middle of work because you didn’t get enough sleep.” He said, letting go of Sidon’s hand to cross his arms.

Sidon sighed, but couldn’t deny him, especially when he was looking out for his wellbeing. “Alright, if you insist. May I stop by tomorrow?” He asked.

Raph laughed, nodding. “You don’t have to ask, you’ve been stopping by every day except when you get busy.”

“I know, but…I’m explicitly coming to see you.” Raph’s mouth shut with a click, and he couldn’t resist the dopey smile that crossed his face.

“Well, yeah. Stop by if you feel like it.”

“I will. Goodnight, Raphael.” Before Raph could return the sentiment, Sidon leaned down and kissed his cheek. Raph stared at him with wide eyes and a red face, all systems offline for a moment.

Sidon waved and walked off, knowing he would not get much sleep as visions of the night would plague him. Once again, completely worth it.

Meanwhile, Raph was having a problem. He walked back into the hut in a daze, as he was realizing just how deep he was. He liked someone. They liked him back, and his feelings were only growing stronger. But they had to return home soon, and he would most likely never see Sidon again. Or worse, Sidon would realize what a fucking dumpster fire Raph was, and then he’d be alone.

Raph was so caught up in this cycle of thoughts he didn’t even notice the oncoming panic attack until it was in mid-swing, and he could do nothing about it.

He sunk to the floor in the corner by the door, sucking in air but still feeling like he was suffocating. Oh God, Sidon was going to leave. He was going to get sick of him and even if he didn’t they were leaving and _RaphwouldneverseehimaGAIN—_

“Come on, Raph. Breathe with me.” Raph looked up, seeing Mikey kneeling in front of him with Donnie and Leo close behind. He didn’t comprehend the words at all, too caught up in his overdrive.

“Shh, I know. You know what to do, Raph. In for 4, hold for 7, out for 8. Come on, you know this.” Raph slowly began to follow the well-known routine, and sooner than later he could think clearly enough to comprehend the world again. God bless Mikey, honestly. Raph was so glad he had confided in him about his panic attacks, so he had someone to help him out.

“…What just happened?” Leo asked, his voice soft so he didn’t set Raph off again.

“Raph had a panic attack. Mikey, how do you know how to help?” Donnie asked, concerned.

“April taught me when I asked her. I wanted to know just in case.” That was the truth, but he didn’t mention all the times he had needed to help Raph. That wasn’t his experience to tell about, and if Raph wanted them to know, he would tell them if and when he was ever ready.

“Did Sidon hurt you?” Donnie asked, an intense glint flashing in his eyes.

“…N-No.” Raph murmured, hating how his weak voice cracked. God, man the fuck up. “He likes me. And I like him. When we go home, I’ll never see him again.” He didn’t mention his insecurities about himself, as he honestly didn’t have the mental energy to bring it up.

“Raph, we can figure something out. You know Renet would help out.” Donnie said, but he could tell that something else was bothering his brother. However, he wouldn’t push.

Instead, they all sat around Raph in a big bear hug, whispering comfort. Donnie swore then that he would help him. He hadn’t seen Raph this happy in years, and he wanted to keep that happiness going for as long as he could.

Raph deserved to be happy just as much as anyone, and as his brother, Donnie would make sure he had that chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad you guys are leaving kudos, but like. Can y'all comment? I want to have a conversation, not just assume that everyone who left a kudos likes everything about my story. A kudos on here is like a like on tumblr; awesome, I appreciate it, but it doesn't tell me anything. I want to know what y'all think, because if I don't know what y'all like or want to see, then how am I supposed to continue?


	4. I Know You're Scared, I Am Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! Like I mentioned last time, please comment and tell me what you think or else I don't know what more you guys want to see, or if you even like the story.

“Sidon came by again.” Donnie murmured, standing in the doorway of Raph’s room.

“…” Raph averted his eyes, trying not to let the guilt show on his face.

Raph had been avoiding Sidon ever since their little outing, and it was obvious that both of them were conflicted. Sidon was also dealing with confusion. Raphael had seemed to reciprocate his feelings to some extent, but then if that was the case why was he being so cold? It was pretty obvious that there was little experience between the both of them, so maybe Raphael just needed a little time to think and to process.

That doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt when Sidon would stop by only to be turned away once again by his brothers. They would spend time with him, but that only emphasized the one who was missing from their group. He hadn’t even seen Raphael in almost a week now, and it caught Sidon off guard how much he missed him.

“I can’t help but feel like there’s something else keeping you back from talking to him. You already know Renet and I are working on a way that you two would be able to see each other again, so what’s the problem? Do you think we can’t do it?” Donnie’s voice snapped Raph out of his thoughts once again, and he hated how the guilt settled in his chest like an old enemy that didn’t know how to fuck off.

“I know you can,” Raph replied, and despite the circumstances, Raph’s faith in Donnie made him smile.

“Okay, then what’s the problem?” He asked, sitting next to his brother on the bed. “I know there’s more than what you’re telling me.”

“…What if I’m not good enough for him?” Raph murmured in a tiny voice, and that’s when it all clicked into place for Donnie.

“Raph…why would you think that?” He asked, touching his shoulder. He swiftly removed it however when Raph flinched away from him. Right, he had a thing about that. Raph was silent for the longest time, and Donnie didn’t think he would answer for a moment.

“…I can’t even manage my own anxiety without worrying myself sick in the middle of the night. I can’t even handle a hug or being vulnerable around my own family. I’d just be disappointing him.”

Donnie didn’t know what to say to that. All of them had issues, it would be surprising if they didn’t with everything they’d been through. However, Donnie thought they had a better support system between each other. But thinking back, they really didn’t. Slowly but surely, their jokes had turned cruel, playful hits turned to brutal moments of humiliation, and sooner than later it seemed they were more a family in name than in action.

They all played a part in the separation, but Donnie felt shame that he didn’t notice, or didn’t let himself notice, how their family had fallen apart. Maybe he just thought if he didn’t acknowledge it, it would get better on its own. But now, he knew better. Raphael was suffering, and he was too uncomfortable to talk to them. Donnie had felt the same, and he was sure Leo and Mikey had as well. It was time to break the cycle of self-destruction between them.

Donatello would be damned if he let anyone break them apart, and that included themselves.

“Raph…I know you’re scared.” He waited for the inevitable rebuttal, but it didn’t come. Taking a shaky breath, he continued, “Sidon really cares about you. You don’t see how sad he looks when we tell him that you’re not available for whatever reason. I know you have some things to work through, and I know that lately, our family hasn’t been the most supportive for each other, but we do all love you, just as you love us. We’re here to help, and please, believe me, Sidon would understand if you would just talk to him.”

Raph took a deep breath, and Donnie could see some of the weight lift from his shoulders. Not nearly enough, barely a pebble compared to the total that weighed on him, but it was something.

“And if he doesn’t, you know Mikey will take out his kneecaps.” That startled a laugh out of Raph, which is exactly what Donnie was going for.

“Okay, okay, I’ll talk to him.” Donnie nodded, squeezing Raph’s shoulder as he stood to give him some time alone to think.

“Hey, Donnie?”

“Hm?” Donnie looked over his shoulder.

Raph looked away, clenching his fists. “I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate you. I’m sorry that somewhere along the way, I stopped being a good brother. Raph didn’t know where to start on his list of apologies, but Donnie seemed to know what he meant.

“I know. I’ll forgive you, eventually. I’m sorry, too. Now that we’re sorry, we can start being better.” Donnie murmured. “I’m going to talk to the others; it’s time we all become a family again.” With a small smile, he left Raph to his thoughts.

Raph had a lot to think about. His chest hurt, in an empty sort of way that made him want to cry but not allowing him to actually bring up the tears.

He needed to take a walk.

He went out the window since it was the closest exit, and honestly, he didn’t know how he could explain where and why he was going. Hell, _he_ wasn’t even sure where he was going!

He walked into the forest surrounding their temporary dwelling, the static in his mind calming down as he kept moving. The silence was welcome for once, the only noise being the sound of his footsteps and the wind blowing.

Raph didn’t know how long he had walked, but after countless times of mulling over things in his head, he felt his eyes begin to sting. He was so happy no one was around because he didn’t think he could hold back the tears anymore. Not just the tears from today, but the tears he had constantly held back and hidden for who knows how long, instead deciding to turn to anger. Well now, he wasn’t angry, and there was no hiding his sorrow. Luckily, he was alone and he could finally let go.

He sat against the base of a tree, leaning his head back as his mask began to wet, the tears running freely when he let them. Raph was crying for a lot of reasons; to purge his emotions, to finally acknowledge the deep sorrow he buried in his chest; to finally try and let go of some of the weight on his shoulders, no matter how small.

“Raphael?” He couldn’t even bring himself to be surprised. Of course, Sidon would find him in his moment of weakness, after not seeing him for almost a week.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Sidon sat down next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Raph tensed reflexively, but after a moment he closed his eyes and relaxed into it, leaning against Sidon’s side. If this had been any other time, Raph would be too busy freaking out over his heart rate to even enjoy this, but now? He needed this comfort, and it seemed stupid to reject it just because of his own confusing feelings.

“Are you alright?” The concern in Sidon’s voice made Raph smile, though he kept his eyes closed. He felt that if he opened them, it would break the calm that had settled over them, even if Raph was still sniffling and unable to stop his tears.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just…got a lot on my mind and it was kind of overwhelming.” He murmured.

“Do you need to talk about it?” Raph paused, thinking about it. Did he? He decided quickly, shaking his head.

“No. I’m okay for now.” He didn’t know how believable that was since he was still crying, but Sidon didn’t push it, thank God.

“May I at least wipe your tears?” Raph bit his lip, then nodded slowly. What was the harm? Wasn’t very macho, but he couldn’t bring himself to honestly give a fuck right now. He felt Sidon cup his face with one hand and tug his mask down with the other. He tried not to flinch at the small inhale of breath and the small touch against the big scar between his eyes.

“What happened here?” Sidon breathed, concern dripping from his words.

Raph shrugged. “Brain worm burrowed into my skull. It’s all a part of the job.” He finally opened his eyes, trying not to laugh at the worried look on Sidon’s face. He wasn’t ungrateful for the concern, but this stuff was commonplace now, so he forgot how terrifying it can sound from the outside.

Sidon moved on from the scar, his other hand cupping Raph’s face as well. He used his thumbs to gently wipe away the tears, smiling as they finally stopped.

“There we go.” He let go of Raph’s face, and Raph pulled his mask back up. “I’ve missed you, Raphael.”

He sighed. “I know, I’m sorry. There’s just…I’m not used to…” He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

Sidon nodded. “I know, neither am I. But talk to me, Raphael. You have to know by now that I don’t have any qualms about being around you.” He chuckled.

“I know, it’s just a little overwhelming. I mean, it’s kind of hard to be at the same level as a prince.” He muttered.

Sidon sighed; what was he going to do with this oblivious turtle? “If anything, I should be the one trying to meet your standards. You are one of the saviors of New York, after all.”

Raph blushed; that sounded way more noble than what he was used to. He just saw it as running around rooftops and hoping that they didn’t die each time a new threat appeared.

“…That doesn’t really sound like me. I’m just Raphael.” He murmured.

“Then I am just Sidon. Titles don’t have to determine our worth.” He pointed out, and Raph _hated_ how Sidon always knew just what to say to calm him down.

“How did you know I was out here, by the way?” He asked.

Sidon blushed darkly all of a sudden, making Raph snort. “Well, actually, I was…ahem…practicing.”

“Practicing what?” He replied, raising an eyebrow.

“I was practicing how to approach you. I thought maybe I had become unpleasant, and if I tried something else you would want to speak with me again. However, when I saw you upset I knew I had to offer a hand.”

Well, now Raph felt like shit. “Dude, you’re fine. There’s nothing you need to change. I promise I won’t avoid you again.” He meant it because this was getting ridiculous. Nothing was going to get better if he kept dodging his issues, even if the thought of wading through all his baggage made him want to bury himself in the dirt.

After sitting in a moment of long silence, Sidon broke it by saying, “I think this is what Michelangelo would classify as ‘a big mood.’”

The noise that escaped from Raphael was the most terrifying yet most hilarious thing Sidon had ever heard. It was a mix of a wheeze, a dry heave, and a scream. Raph got to his feet, doubling over and holding onto the tree as he tried to calm himself.

“What the-? Sidon no, what the fuck, don’t ever listen to my brothers!” He was literally starting to see spots in his vision from the lack of air in his lungs.

“I don’t know if I can do that, seeing as it led to your laughter.” The honesty in Sidon’s words sent Raph into another wheezing fit.

“I am too weak for this guy, oh my fucking—” he cut himself off, finally calming down and returning to his spot next to Sidon, who was smiling at him adoringly.

And if he spends the next few hours tucked into his side and if that happens to be the most peaceful and safe he’s felt in a very long time, then that was no one’s business but his own.


	5. Fucking Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's about fucking time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what y'all think! One more chapter left!

Today’s the day. Raph was going to confess. Well, it wasn’t a secret, what he had with Sidon, but they hadn’t really addressed it in detail. They were more content to leave things unspoken and uncomplicated, and for a while, it worked for them.

It wasn’t working for Raphael anymore.

They had been here for almost 4 months, and with Renet and Donnie so close to sending them home, Raph knew he couldn’t leave things unsaid. Though it was easier said than done, he found. He stood by the front door for 20 minutes, trying to will himself to head into the domain to find Sidon. It was bad enough that even now, Muzu and some of the other residents didn’t like the turtles. Not to mention, Sidon’s fan club. Seriously, a fan club. Raph could understand why, of course, _obviously._ But that didn’t make things easy for him. If they saw him approaching, they just might try to kill him.

Literally, they hissed at him in unison when they saw him once.

Well, they weren’t going to stop him this time. He was on a mission. If he could manage to get out the front door.

“What are you doing?” Raph jumped, turning to face Mikey, who was watching him with an amused smirk.

“I’m heading to see Sidon. I…I need to talk to him.” He muttered.

“Aw, got a love confession for your prince?” Mikey teased, pretending to swoon into his brother’s arms, who considered dropping his ass as a dark blush bloomed on his cheeks.

Mikey gasped. “Oh my gosh, you _are_ going to confess!” He exclaimed, ignoring Raph’s attempts to make him kindly shut the fuck up. “Finally, the time has come! We’re all going to be free from the suffocating URT!”

“URT?” Raph tilted his head; what the fuck was that?

“Unresolved romantic tension, dude! We’re going to be free!” Growling, Raph finally marched out of the house and towards the inner domain. As he got to the more crowded areas, he felt more eyes on him. Some were friendly, some curious, and a lot were suspicious and malicious.

“You!” Raph felt his soul cringe. Muzu, the last person he wanted to see, so of course he was the one Raph ran into.

“What are you doing so far into this domain?! Are you not content polluting the border?” Raph had to bite on the inside of his cheek to keep his temper under control, but even then, he could feel it simmering. He knew if he reacted, it would be used against him and his brothers and that was the last thing they needed.

“I’m not trying to start any trouble, I’m just looking for Sidon.” He jumped back a little at the indignant squawk his comment received.

“That’s _Prince_ Sidon to you! How dare you be so disrespectful as to—” Raph tried to tune him out, his fists clenching at his sides. Why wouldn’t this asshole just leave him alone?! Raph didn’t want to get angry, didn’t want to fly off the handle, but what else could be expected? This guy had hated them since he got there, and Raph couldn’t imagine how he would react if he knew what was developing between himself and the prince.

“That’s enough.” Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Sidon was striding towards them purposefully, an annoyed frown on his face. “Muzu, we have talked about this. You cannot keep harassing my friends whenever they come by. It’s not constructive to a healthy and inviting kingdom.”

“With all due respect, your highness, maybe you should be more concerned with just who we are inviting into our kingdom.” With one last disapproving glare, Muzu turned and went on his way.

Raph sighed, bringing a hand up to rub between his eyes. He could already feel a headache forming as he muttered, “Maybe I shouldn’t have come.”

“Don’t pay him any mind,” Sidon said vehemently, leading Raph away from the stares that followed them. “He’s never going to change, but I don’t want that to affect your time here.”

“I don’t even know why he hates us.” Raph rolled his eyes. “We haven’t been around to do anything!”

Sidon sighed, taking Raph’s hand as soon as they were out of the proverbial limelight. “I know, but please don’t take it personally. It’s nothing you all did, he just hates anyone entering the domain after my sister was killed.”

Raph nodded quietly. He had heard about Mipha, all good things, and he couldn’t imagine how it had hurt Sidon to have her taken away from him. Luckily, Sidon hadn’t let her passing destroy him.

“Though, I do wonder what made you come. Not that you aren’t welcome, but you usually stay with your brothers, away from everyone.”

Raph took a shaky breath. “I…needed to talk to you about something. Something important. Nothing bad.” He made sure to mention since he could already see the worry beginning to form on Sidon’s face.

“…Well, when my sister and I wanted to talk without interruption, she would always take me to this hidden cavern. We would spend hours upon hours there, and no one ever found us. We could head there if you’d like?”

The significance was not lost on Raph; Sidon wanted to show Raph a place where he and his sister had fond memories. He didn’t know what to say, how to voice what it meant to him that Sidon wanted to share that with him. So, he simply nodded and smiled.

“Wonderful!” Sidon beamed, tugging him along. The cavern Sidon was talking about sat in the middle of a deep lake, far enough away that no one would find it unless they knew what to look for. Stepping stones lead to the entrance, slippery as hell. Sidon's hands hovered behind Raph as they went across, ready to catch him in an instant if he slipped, which he didn't because he was not going to embarrass himself this close to confessing. Entering the cavern, Raph felt the water just barely coat the floor of the structure and looked up to see glow worms on the roof of the cavern, preventing pitch darkness.

“Whoa. I’ve never seen those before.” He murmured, gesturing to the bugs.

“Oh yes, they’re quite common here! I’m glad you like it.” He murmured, leading Raph further inside. It opened up into a deeper pool of water, surrounded by stone so it was possible to sit on the edge.

“How did your sister find this place?” He asked curiously, looking up at him.

“I’m not sure. I just remember her leading me here when I was young and it’s been our place ever since.” Sidon explained. “Though we did have a tendency to upset Muzu, as we would be here so long we would miss meetings or lessons.”

The thought of pissing off that old fart for any reason made Raph laugh. “I can’t imagine. My goal is to make him say one nice thing about us, or me before we leave.”

Sidon stiffened beside him. “Ah, yes. Do you…know how soon you’ll be leaving?”

Raph picked up instantly on the sadness beginning to emanate from him. Well, that was a fucking no go.

“Yeah, we should be heading home very soon…But they’re also working on a way we can come back and visit. You know, if we’re welcome.” He smiled as the light returned to Sidon’s eyes.

“Of course, you’re all welcome here! Any time you want!” Sidon grinned, and Raph nodded in response. “You’re never getting rid of us.”

“I’m quite certain I’ll never want to.” He murmured, giving Raph that intimate look that both gave him butterflies and wanted to make him stay in his shell for the rest of his life. “Oh, you wanted to speak with me about something. What was it?”

Raph wheezed, his face blooming in red and causing Sidon to look concerned.

“You’re quite flushed! Are you unwell? We could always head back if you--!”

Raph reached up, cupping Sidon’s face in his hands, and yanked him down, slotting his lips against the prince’s.

It wasn’t a long kiss, nor a very coordinated one, but it was nice. That was an understatement, it was _fucking amazing._ Sidon tasted…interesting, like salt water, but he found it wasn’t that bad. Nothing had ever made him feel this good. As if for these few seconds, none of that ever-present weight was on his shoulders. He pulled back from the kiss, taking in Sidon’s surprised expression and flushed face.

Then he lost all his courage and said the dumbest thing in his entire life. “U-Um…Thank you for showing me this place. Bye!” He got to his feet and booked it the fuck out of there.

He did not slow down until he got back to their hut on the outskirts of the domain, panting heavily. Despite that, he couldn’t stop grinning to save his life. He’d finally done what he’d wanted to do for the longest time! And he also bitched out and ran but he decided not to focus on that part.

“Whoa, where’s the fire?” Leo asked, taking in his brother’s agitated form.

“How did confessing go?” Mikey exclaimed, and from the surprise on Donnie and Leo’s face, Mikey hadn’t mentioned it until now.

“Mikey!” Raph hissed, the flush on his face growing deeper.

“Well? Did you do it?” Donnie asked.

Raph pursed his lips. “In…a way.” He hesitated.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Come on, what happened?” Leo pushed.

“I…uh, I kissed him. And then before he could say anything, I ran.” Silence followed, and Raph could feel the incredulous stares of his siblings on his skin. He was too giddy from the kiss to be bothered about it, his hands shaking slightly from the adrenaline.

“Wow. You are both disasters.” Leo commented, and Raph laughed. “Yeah, but can you blame us?” He shrugged, carefree.

It was a weird feeling, being this happy. He hadn’t experienced it in a long time. He knew he would have to talk to Sidon about this eventually, but he had an inkling that it would go in his favor.

Until then, he was going to hang out with his brothers and Renet, while trying to remember how to deal with happiness so intense it made his chest hurt.

He never wanted to let go of this feeling, and if Sidon felt the same, he would never have to.


	6. Raph Finally Gets His Shit Together

Arnold Casey Jones was a lot of things. Resilient, fearless, determined. He was the second human friend the turtles had, and while he was closest to Raph, they all appreciated knowing that another person on the surface saw them as more than just freaks.

He was also a raging dumbass, as Raph was being reminded of as his friend laughed himself into a coughing fit upon learning of Raph’s activities while they were gone.

“Let me get this straight; you all get sucked into another dimension, and the first person you meet ends up sweeping Raph off his feet like a Disney princess?!” He choked, falling off the couch as he cackled.

“He didn’t sweep me off of my feet!” Raph protested, though his red face did nothing to help his case.

“No, he just kissed the back of your hand like the prince in Snow White.” That comment from Mikey sent Casey spiraling into another fit, and Raph was seriously contemplating breaking his nose just to make him shut up.

“Will you guys stop? I think it’s sweet that Raph and this guy found each other.” April said, and while he appreciated the sentiment, the words ‘sweet’ and ‘Raphael’ didn’t go together. He put a lot of effort into his image to make sure he didn’t come off as anything even close to that.

“So, what does this guy look like? Leo said he’s some kind of fish guy? You can’t tell me that you didn’t take a picture or something.”

“Even if I did, I wouldn’t show you.” Raph snorted, thinking back to the many, many, _many_ sketches in his sketchbook and photos in his T-Phone of Sidon. He’s probably filled half his sketchbook in the three days they’d been home.

“I will!” Donnie chimed in, and Raph groaned at the betrayal of his siblings. Why did they torment him so? He couldn’t really complain; this was probably payback for teasing him to hell and back about April. Now that he knew what it felt like, he was NOT a fan. He tried to ignore April and Casey hovering around Donnie’s phone, as well as the snickering that followed.

“That’s him? Damn Raph, I didn’t realize you have a type!” Casey teased, elbowing his friend playfully. “You really like tall people who can beat the shit out of you, huh?”

Raph glared at him, shoving him off the couch and delighting in the yelp that escaped him. “Don’t you have something else to do besides tormenting me about the guy I like?” He asked, rolling his eyes at the chorus of ‘oohs’ that followed.

“So how did you two even get together?” April asked, hugging her popcorn bowl to her chest as if about to watch a soap opera.

Leo burst into laughter. “It was a train wreck, that’s for sure. Raph let Sidon know he liked him by kissing him then running away before he could even say anything!”

“No the fuck you did not!” Casey looked to Raph, and when the turtle did nothing but look away with his red face, he was gone again in laughter. Like an asshole.

“Raph, why did you run away? It sounds like he really liked you!” April asked, prompting Raph to shrug his shoulders.

“So what happened then?” Casey asked.

“Well, …we left the next day,” Raph muttered.

“What?! And you didn’t even talk to him?!” April exclaimed, and Raph just sunk down further into the couch.

“We’re going back tomorrow. Renet gave us these dimension hoppers that we can use to travel back and forth from there to here. I’m going to meet with some of the scientists; their medical advancements could really help us out. Leo’s going to learn more about their weapons and leadership, Mikey’s going to sightsee, and Raphael is going to talk to his prince.” Donnie listed off.

“He’s not my prince! Stop calling him that!”

“He wants to be your prince, and he would be your prince if you’d stop being a little bitch.” Mikey deadpanned. “I can’t imagine how Master Splinter will react.”

“How I’ll react to what?”

Fuck.

* * *

 

Raph never thought he’d have to have _The Talk_ with his dad. Honestly, he never thought he’d ever date anyone, let alone get to the point of…all that. But here he was, sitting in the dojo and explaining reluctantly to his father that he’d somehow managed to get into a somewhat almost relationship with someone.

It’s not like he was afraid of Splinter being unaccepting; that thought never crossed his mind. But still, he had no idea how his dad would react to his son being in a relationship in general. He had never mentioned Mona Lisa, so this was an entirely new situation.

“…I see.” Was all he said when Raph finished the Cliff Notes, and Raph was ready to pass out. What was that supposed to mean?!

“And you four will be returning to visit this young man tomorrow?” He asked after a long moment.

“W-Well, not to visit just him, but the dimension in general,” Raph muttered, rubbing the back of his neck and looking at everything except his father.

“Does he make you happy?” Welp, that caught him off guard.

“Huh? I mean, yes. Yes, he does.” Raph couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Sidon, even if he tried to keep his face blank.

“If things go further, I would like to meet this Sidon who you seem to be taken with.” It wasn’t a request, but Raph imagined as a parent he’d want to know who his kids were seeing as well. Even if the thought of Sidon meeting his father made him want to bury himself in the ground.

“Of course. I…I’ll let him know.” With a nod, he was dismissed. He got to his feet and went to leave, but the call of his name made him stop and turn.

“Yeah?”

Master Splinter smiled at him. “If he makes you happy, do not let your own fears hold you back from him.”

Raph opened his mouth to reply, only to shut it. That…hit a little too close to home. Okay, that was right on target and now he didn’t know what to say. He just nodded and opened the dojo door, stepping aside to let his eavesdropping brothers and friends topple in and land in a heap on the floor.

“For ninjas, you’re not subtle at all. Casey’s the only one with an excuse, being he’s an idiot.” Shaking his head in disappointment, he stepped over them and went to go think about what he was going to say tomorrow.

* * *

 

When they arrived the next day, Raph felt like he was going to vomit and pass out at the same time. Casey and April had decided to come along for emotional support, meaning they wanted in on the torment of Raphael because they’re assholes.

“So, where do we meet sharkboy?” Casey asked, looking around. They had landed in the outskirts of the domain, close to the huts where they had stayed the first time.

“He’s probably doing his job, you know, princely duties and all that.” Mikey shrugged. “Or he’s busy pining over Raph, wondering when he’ll return.”

Raph rolled his eyes, trying to ignore how the thought of Sidon waiting for him made something warm bloom in his chest.

“Well, I’ve been waiting three days to see the finale of this disaster love story, and you’re not gonna back down now,” Donnie said, and with that, the group headed off towards the center of the domain.

Leo had told April and Casey how the people didn’t seem to like them, but the glares and whispers they were subjected to still didn’t ease as they approached.

“Hopefully we won’t run into-“

“You!”

“Fuck.”

Muzu marched towards them, teeth bared and fists clenched. “Haven’t you four done enough here? Especially you!” He pointed to Raph, who raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“What are you talking about?” He scoffed, crossing his arms.

“What am I talking about?! I’m talking about how you led the prince astray with your seductive ways!” Raph almost choked on his spit, smacking Casey on the back of the head when the boy started cackling. Seducing Sidon?! When had that happened?

“Muzu, we’ve had a discussion about you harassing…our…” Speak of the DEVIL.

Sidon was carrying a heavy bundle of what seemed to be wood or something similar over his shoulder when he approached, but as soon as he caught sight of just who was visiting, he stumbled and dropped it with a loud crash, a heavy flush flooding his face.

“I-I…um….” He stammered, trying to regain his train of thought, and Leo’s elbow dug into Raph’s side as if to urge him to say something. Not a chance in hell, this was way too entertaining.

“Uh…you’re back, my friends!” Sidon finally pulled it together, smiling happily at them. “I was wondering when you’d return, as you left in such a hurry.” His worried gaze took them all in, before settling on Raphael pointedly. “I was worried about you.”

Raph wheezed slightly, man was it hot in here?! Mikey decided to help get the ball rolling, gesturing to their human friends, “We brought our friends, Casey and April. They were really interested in your domain and we thought it would be cool if you don’t mind.”

“Great, there’s more of them,” Muzu muttered, but he was ignored.

“Of course I don't mind! You’re all welcome to stay where you did before if you plan on being here for more than a day.”

Leo nodded. “We did, thank you. We should go get set up, and then we’ll be back.” They turned away, but Raph was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

“Raphael. I was…I was hoping we could talk for a moment.” Sidon murmured, and Raph watched as his family and friends all gave him a thumbs up as they kept walking away.

He swallowed thickly; well, there was no backing down now.

“Yeah, of course. What’s up?” He asked, smiling up at Sidon.

“I think you know. Come with me, we can speak somewhere more private.” Without pause, Sidon took Raph’s hand and pulled him along. Raph had to remind himself to breathe because holy SHIT. Sidon didn’t seem mad, but who knew? Raph was honestly flying by the seat of his pants.

Sidon led them away, and Raph realized they were heading to the same cave as before, where the…incident happened. Raph still couldn’t think about it without sinking halfway into his shell and his heart trying to beat out of his ribcage.

When they arrived, Sidon sat at the edge of the water and gestured for Raph to sit beside him. He did so hesitantly, turning so he was facing the prince.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured, and Sidon blinked at him in confusion.

“Sorry? For…for what?” He tilted his head. Raph sighed, looking away as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“For…for kissing you before we left. And then running away. I probably should have asked first…or something. I won’t do it aga-“

His face was being touched. That stopped all words with a quickness. Sidon’s hand was cupping his face, his thumb brushing over Raph’s lower lip and OKAY HE WAS GETTING CLOSER.

“If you hadn’t run off, you’d know that I had no problem with you kissing me. It was unexpected, but pleasantly so. In fact, I would like to try it again. Is that okay?” He asked, his eyes warm and inviting and _FUCK_ Raph was never letting this guy go. He nodded slightly since he knew his voice was completely offline at the moment, before closing his eyes.

The kiss was…a lot. Not physically; in that way, it was slow, gentle, warm. Emotionally, however, it made Raph feel ever so exposed. Intimacy of any sort, and by extension, vulnerability, wasn’t something he could handle easily, so opening himself up to this type of experience was terrifying. But he couldn’t find it in himself to pull away as he would before. He wanted this, craved it, and if Sidon felt the same, then Raph could try, just once, to let himself have this. To feel this way.

He let out a shaky sigh through his nose, leaning into the kiss after a long moment of pause. He had a little experience in this area, just enough so he didn’t make a fool out of himself. Sidon wasn’t a bad kisser himself, though that could just be a result of Raph’s bias. When they finally pulled away, they were both grinning like fools. Raph started laughing; a small chuckle at first, before dissolving into chortles.

“What? What’s so funny?” Sidon asked, looking like a kicked puppy. Raph shook his head, wiping his eyes as he tried to calm himself down.

“Nothing, nothing. I’m just…happy, man. I kinda thought I had messed everything up.”

Sidon shook his head. “Of course not. You had to have known that I felt the same by then?” He asked, but Raph just shrugged, not willing to delve into that just yet.

“I had hoped, and assumed, but I wasn’t quite sure. You can’t tell me you didn’t have any doubts?” He asked, smirking at the sudden flush that crossed Sidon’s face.

“W-Well, I did at first. I was concerned that you wouldn’t feel the same because I’m…I’m not like you.” He admitted, but Raph was lost.

“Like…me? What do you mean?” He asked.

“You know…a turtle.” There was a long moment of silence, before Raph burst out laughing, nearly falling into the water as he clutched his sides.

“Ah-Don’t laugh! It’s a perfectly reasonable concern!” Sidon protested, the flush on his cheeks growing even deeper as Raph cackled.

“Not really? I mean almost everyone we know from our dimension hates us, it doesn’t matter to me if you’re human, Zora, turtle. You…you make me happy, Sidon.” He murmured, taking his hand after a moment of hesitation.

And if his response was another kiss? Well, he could work with that just fine.

* * *

 

H is family was crowded around the front door when he returned. He had spent hours in that cave with Sidon, talking along with…other things. Nothing too crazy, they just got together, but Raph was now very well acquainted with Sidon’s lips and the feeling of his hands on his face.

Raph felt…weird. He felt shaky, but also exhilarated, but also like his stomach was sinking in his shoes. It was an interesting mixture of emotions. Raph usually hated emotions like this, preferring to beat them back with the help of a punching bag. However, this once, he could make an exception, especially if they got him closer to Sidon.

“So?” April asked eagerly, eyes wide. Casey raised an eyebrow, and his brothers were literally holding their breath.

“…So what?” Raph asked, giving an innocent grin.

“Don’t play dumb, you know what we mean!” Donnie exclaimed. “Did you chicken out again? Did you run away? Did-“

“Did you come up with a way to hide that hickey when we go home?” Leo cut him off, and Mikey choked on his laughter.

Raph’s hand flew up to his neck. He knew exactly what Leo was talking about; it was as far as he and Sidon had gone. Raph had left his own set of marks, but it was still embarrassing to be called out. Not embarrassing enough to regret it, but still.

“Oooh, get it Raph! Get those fish sticks!” Casey whooped, before taking off as Raph gave chase to kick his ass. Fish sticks?! Really?!

In the back of his mind, as he was kicking Casey’s ass, he knew that things would be changing from now on. Not only would he have to navigate all of his usual responsibilities, but now he had a boyfriend. Someone he could be vulnerable with, someone he was expected to want to be vulnerable with.

Vulnerability was never his strong suit, but for Sidon?

He would do anything.

 


End file.
